Post by ItsMeBilly on Oct 2, 2018 8:40:27 GMT
With the release of the new film on the horizon, I've unsurprisingly decided to dive back into the entire series (even if none of them are canon for this one, which in most cases is probably a blessing). Here's my personal ranking, from worst to best:
#10
HALLOWEEN: RESURRECTION
The last film in the original series (until October 19th, that is) is also the worst. This movie is not unwatchable (though individual scenes flirt with the idea) and is actually a bit better than the lowest points of other franchises. An attempt seems to have been made at creating eerie lighting, and a few jump scares are successful. On the whole, though, it's a disaster. It has nary an interesting character, and even the ones who have personalities are so obnoxious that you almost wish they were all as boring as lead character Sara. Everybody else has already discussed Busta Rhymes, karate, and killing Laurie, so I'm not gonna bother. I think everybody gets it.
#9
HALLOWEEN 6: THE CURSE OF MICHAEL MYERS
Much like Halloween: Resurrection, CURSE seems like it tried to be unwatchable but missed the mark slightly and ended up being wholly unremarkable instead. Much has been said of the troubled production, and it's not hard to see why; Halloween 5 gave the makers of 6 so many awful dangling story threads to resolve (though one could argue that nobody wanted to see them resolved in the first place) and so little clues as to where they were headed that it was only natural that everybody on set would have a different idea of how to fix it. Unfortunately, none of the singular visions that created this jumbled mess would've been good on their own, either, and the combination of them all is even worse. Both the theatrical and the fabled Producer's Cut are inept, but both have strong(er) points. The Producer's Cut at least attempts atmosphere and makes slightly more sense, while the theatrical moves at a brisker pace and therefore holds the viewer hostage for less time, which in this case is a huge plus.
#8
HALLOWEEN 5: THE REVENGE OF MICHAEL MYERS
I was tempted to rank HALLOWEEN 5 below Curse, simply because so many of Curse's problems can be traced directly back to REVENGE. I ultimately put Halloween 5 higher on the list because on the whole Halloween 5 is a better-made and more coherent story, even if it is to blame for all of the awful loose ends that Curse tried and failed to tie up. It also makes the same mistake that Resurrection would make more than a decade later, by killing off one of the few characters anybody gave half a shit about before the end of the first act (in this case, Rachel). Rachel was a complete snooze to me both here and in Halloween 4, but at least she possessed some semblance of likability. Likability is a trait sorely lacking in new audience surrogate Tina, a character so nails-on-a-chalkboard annoying that she herself feels like a first-act victim that they forgot to kill off until near the end. There's nothing in this movie resembling atmosphere, dread, or tension, and the forced comic relief and obnoxious characters are a chore to sit through, and despite a somewhat faster pace it's also interminably boring.
#7
HALLOWEEN II (2009)
If you had asked me in 2009, this would've come in dead last; at the time, it was difficult to find even one positive thing to say about it. Throughout the past 9 years, it's grown on me considerably. First off, I had only seen the director's cut until recently, a cut that runs far too long and consists of so much shrill screeching by the characters that it's not difficult to see what I hated about the film to begin with. Scout Taylor-Compton's Laurie, who I actually did not mind in Rob Zombie's first film, is horribly obnoxious and abrasive to everyone around her in the director's cut, a choice which I understand is intentional on Zombie's part but did not work for me. The theatrical cut omits much of her banshee-like attacks on those around her and is in my opinion much better for it, portraying Laurie less as a cruel antihero and more as a sympathetic (but still damaged) survivor. I'm not a fan of Rob Zombie's writing, and everything is still dialed up to 11 in the theatrical cut, but ironically it's easier to see what he was going for in the theatrical cut than in his preferred cut, and I like it much better.
#6
HALLOWEEN 4: THE RETURN OF MICHAEL MYERS
I know that this entry is beloved by many, and it is true that the good perhaps outweighs the bad, but not enough for me to place it any higher than this. The overall storyline is a strong one, with the "ten-years-later" aspect being a good way to frame a return by Michael and Rachel and Jamie's relationship forming a good foundation. However, I find the whole film to look and feel incredibly cheap, and it loses much of the style and atmosphere that made the original two films (and Season of the Witch, to an extent) so successful. The screenplay is also lacking, with little in the way of good scares and a whole lot of unintentional comedy - mostly from the vigilante lynch mob that forms partway through the film. Overall, this one gets a big "meh" from me, and caps off the bottom half of the list. As an aside, I have read Dennis Etchison's abandoned version of the screenplay, and found it much better.
#5
HALLOWEEN (2007)
This is another instance where I had been stuck with Zombie's overlong, self-indulgent director's cut for so long due to the lack of availability of the theatrical cut on blu-ray, that I had forgotten what I even liked about the film to begin with. This remains the only Halloween film that I've seen in theaters thus far, a shameful fact that I'm eager to rectify on October 19th. The director's cut is dreadful, adding an unnecessary rape scene and extending the Smith's Grove portion of the film, which was already the most uninteresting portion of the film even in the theatrical version. Having recently imported a Canadian blu-ray double-feature containing the theatrical cuts of both of Zombie's films, I feel more comfortable placing this so high on the list. Yes, the characters are still mostly unlikable. Yes, the first half is annoying. Yes, the second half is still a less-skilled rehash of the original. However, the film has some good scares and fine kills, and is on the whole a more atmospheric and well-put-together exercise than most of the sequels to the original.
#4
HALLOWEEN 3: SEASON OF THE WITCH
First things first: I'm glad that we're finally at a point in history where we can appreciate what this film was trying to do instead of vilifying it for not containing Michael. In the past couple years, there's been a sizable shift in the overall reception of Season of the Witch, with many noting that it actually *feels* more like a Halloween film than most of the sequels featuring Michael, and that it's actually reasonably successful as a standalone film. I fall somewhere in-between, slightly leaning toward appreciating it. The cinematography remains very good, and the storyline is relatively unique and innovative, which is something that goes unappreciated too often in this case. However, I do find that the film drags in the second half, and there is certainly some overly campy elements at play here. Still, I'm glad to see the public perception finally changing.
#3
HALLOWEEN H20: TWENTY YEARS LATER
Ridiculous title aside, I've always had a special place in my heart for H20. I appreciate the back-to-basics approach being taken here, and while I am in general not a huge fan of retcons, the Halloween series makes a good case for it; the sequels preceding it were on an undeniable downward spiral from which the series likely would never have recovered without starting from scratch. Jamie Lee Curtis gives an incredible performance here, and the final showdown does a lot to make up for the more lackluster aspects. Still, it's easy to see why this entry has its detractors. The film attempts to go back to the pacing and smaller bodycount of the original, but director Steve Miner is unsuccessful at creating any atmosphere or tension, resulting in a film that feels too long even at less than 90 minutes. The scenes with the teenaged characters are horribly grating, there's some attempted humor here that falls flat involving LL Cool J's failing writing career, the score is all wrong (literally using Scream's music cues when John Ottman's score was rejected), Chris Durand is not good as Michael, and the cinematography has a drab, cheap feel that is particularly puzzling considering the higher budget. It hasn't aged well, but it is still a successful sequel which makes for a great end to Laurie Strode's story (so long as you skip Resurrection).
#2
HALLOWEEN II (1981)
The only sequel that has managed to replicate the look and feel of John Carpenter's original film, while still upping the bodycount for a slightly more jaded 1980s audience. It's unfortunate that Laurie is sidelined for so much of the film, and the brother-sister twist is probably the root cause of a lot of the franchise's later problems, but Halloween II does a lot of things right that none of the other sequels did. The cinematography makes it easy to watch back-to-back with the original film and have it truly feel like one long movie, and setting it the same night as the original is an inspired choice. Not all of the characters are likable, and not all of them even have anything resembling a personality (Nurse Jill, Janet), but they feel relatively in line with the feel of the characters of the original film. Most of the kills are very good, with the standout of course being Karen's. Ultimately a successful followup.
#1
HALLOWEEN (1978)
Obviously. I'm not sure there's anything for me to say here that will diverge from everything already said about it, so I'm not going to bother writing some big soliloquy. Suffice it to say that none of the sequels have come anywhere near replicating the quality of the original, with even my second-place choice having sizable diminishing returns.
I'm eager to see other people's rankings. Also, plz don't attack me for mine, I'm small & delicate.
